I haven’t been able to leave bed all week. I haven’t been able to go out and meet people and share the goods. It is an incredibly torturous thing: to know how desperately this city/these people need to hear about True Love and True Life, and having the truth and not even being able to TRY and share it. My team is discouraged too about no fruit and difficult seeds, but they are at least able to spread the seed. I can’t. But, God’s been sweet, and mazing. As always. I spend my days alone in my room, and since I can’t go out, or often get out of bed much, God literally brought someone into my room daily – my maid. And he made her extremely talkative and curious. So, even in my stupidity of missing the marks he puts in front of me, I could not in ANY way escape this one. Throughout this week we built a wonderful friendship. I was embarrassingly slow to catch on to God’s VERY obvious plan of “HERE’S AN INDIAN WOMAN WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT ME SHARE WITH HER LITERALLY FROM YOUR BED.”
The first day I was just terrible sick. The next we talked more. The next we didn’t have her clean. The next we talked a LOT and it FINALLY dawned on me fully that OH SHOOT, this is from God. So, the last morning we chatted a bit and I askwed her hwo I could pray for her. I got her in trouble once for chatting an dnot cleaning, so I’ve wondered how to share the gods and puruse her without distracting her form her responsibilities. But I’d totally by lying if I said that’s why I didn’t share the gospel with her. (Though that’s a real lame excuse anyway.) I just didn’t I didn’t initiate with that much intentionality before she left that day. But, after she left, I wrote her a letter and shared the goods with her in that, and left a flower with the note on the bed for her to find. I’m praying over her and praying that God would use my mistakes (lack of boldness, lack of clear sight, etc.) for her good and ultimate salvation.
Also, I’m praising Him that again He shows me, He will use me how He wants to and when He wants to. And that He is sovereign to use my weakness and mistakes to finish His ultimate Master plan.