An update for the last few days:
Was the hardest day I’ve had yet. I was alone for 7 or 8 hours in my room. I prayed, read some Text, but it was looong and I became extremely restless and bored. I’ve spent my days alone before (for the past 3 weeks), but this day, for the first time, was really hard. I wondered if God was telling me, “time to go out now, Anna”. For the past two weeks I’ve had complete peace and joy staying in to pray, but now it was no longer the desire or joy of my heart. So that led into à
I woke up and grabbed breakfast with a sweet friend. I came back to my room, not sure what I was going to do with the rest of my day… When I got to my door, it was locked with the keys inside! I didn’t lock it, and it didn’t seem like something my roommate would do... So now, really not knowing what to do, I walked back out to the hallway and ran into two teammates on their way to an appointment with a friend. They told me to come along! Having absolutely nothing else to do, and remembering how painful the day before was, I said okay!
In that appointment I got to share the entire goods with a girl and she almost cried. I read some Bible passages on Jesus and love, after explaining who he was and his story. She noticed I was reading from an app and immediately told us she wanted that app and to read the Text for herself!! She’s a devout Muslim, but was captivated by what we shared with her.
I came home super happy that afternoon. It’s amazing how refreshed and alive your spirit feels when you share the One whom you were called to! When my roommate came back later, I asked if she had locked the door, she said she hadn’t. I definitely believe Dad locked that door, maybe through our cleaning man, and He didn’t allow me to go back to my room that day! He has finally called me out.
Saturday I woke up not feeling very good, and started my quiet time. I started praying to God something like, “Dad please walk me in the works you have for me today” or “please have me do something today”, etc. As soon as I prayed that, two teammates knocked on my door to invite me to go on an appointment with them. I was like, Okay Lord! That was fast. Can’t say no now!
We met up with a group of 4 or 5 kids. In the conversation, I got to share the goods with another girl! She heard the story, and was decently listening, but she is very set in her ways. I didn’t feel as though it moved her very much. After, we got off topic for awhile, but in the end it was just her, my teammates, and I. I was at a complete loss of how to direct the conversation into the goods, what to ask her, or how to share the goods in a way that reached her. Like I said, she was really set in her ways. So, I prayed and was like “Dad, this is up to you.”
[- NOTE: I don’t do EV because I’m good at it, let that be known. I do not always know the answers and rarely do I have a good idea of what to do at all. But I know in whom I have believed, and I know this is what He calls me to do. In one part of our conversation, the girl asked a question I knew I didn’t have an answer to had someone else asked me before this. But I fully believe God’s promise that He’ll give you the words you need to say when you are speaking to people. He truly did! I gave her a great answer that I had never, ever thought of before. Thank you Holy Spirit! -]
So, at the end of this conversation, after 2 or 3 hours, I was praying. And that is when God completely opened this new door of her heart. She is a very independent, confident, tough girl. She shared about how you have to be, being a woman here. She shared with us about how many times she’s been sexually harassed by men in the city, and how she can’t do anything to resist because often times the men will harm you even more, like throwing acid on you. You have to submit to the abuse and remain silent. She remarked on how she doubts there is any girl here who has not been abused in this way by men. My heart broke, and being one studying to be a counselor, I asked how she dealt with this emotionally. In response, she just said that you have no choice in these things. This is just how the world is. So you suck it up and move forward. How desperately I want Jesus to break down her walls and heal all these wounds! Furthermore, she expressed how she feels she does not have any worth. She talked about how women have to prove that they are worthy of anything, and that is really hard to do.
In response to this, my teammate and I immediately started talking to her about worth. We spoke again of God and His love. I shared some passages with her (John 8, 1 Cor. 13, Ps. 139) (I always try to incorporate the Word of God because I know it is power!). As I finished reading, I looked at her and in the most intense, loving, and sincere way I could, I told her THIS is how God sees her – no matter what she could ever, ever do. THIS is the worth she ALREADY has – nothing more is to be earned! She is DEARLY LOVED, passionately loved, and she is fought for!
As soon as we did this, everything in her demeanor changed. She could not even look at me. She was fidgeting, which was a great sign, for she was now vulnerable in her deepest desires and heartbreak. It looked as though she was fighting back tears. I told her directly that there was no way I could leave this conversation without earnestly telling her these truths that have changed my life. She was quiet for the first time. It was so beautiful! She has not accepted that God really is real, but I think He had a break through in that moment.
I’m so incredibly grateful that God called me out these last two days, that I may share with those here what I love the most in the entire world. I praise God that He’s chosen to use me to share Him both days, and that He is working tirelessly for the lost. This is our last week of ministry here in the city, and I’m beyond excited to see how else He moves.