Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Subtly Wonderful

Last week was wonderful for a few reasons.

I had the (forced) opportunity to do nothing but pray for two and a half hours. I had the (not at all optional) opportunity to not say a word or move for 150 minutes.
It was incredible actually. At first I was simply praying for topic suggested (one I didn’t have many opinions, feelings, or even thoughts about). But after I got over the hope that I would start doing something “entertaining” soon, I was like screw it Jesus- I’m done staying surface level with you. I’m diving in deep and having my interrupted sweet time with Jesus. It was so beautiful.

I realized for the first time the truth of these “rules” of prayer, which I have heard by an author previously (*by no means actual rules haha):
1.     Pray till you pray
2.     Pray till you’re conscious of being heard
3.     Pray until you receive an answer

At first I was just praying. It was simple communication with God. I was honest about it, and it was genuine, but it wasn’t anywhere near the depths of my heart. By around 1.5 hours, I had given up all caution and hesitance, and seriously opened my heart to the act of praying. I can’t explain it in words well, but it was one of the first times where I’ve undoubtedly understood being in the presence of God through prayer, and feeling uninterrupted communion with Him. I found a depth of prayer I don’t think I’ve gotten to before. It’s opened my eyes to a whole other layer of prayer, and opened the door to a whole new potential life of prayer.

Also, I realized what people actually mean when they say “you can’t not care about something you pray for”.

Before, I would pray for things that I felt like I should, and in the way I new was “upright”, but my heart would remain largely indifferent. But after spending 2.5 hours in prayer for ONE thing that I really did have 0 thoughts on prior, I left feeling that thing so incredibly and unexplainably dear to my heart. Which was just a super cool thing to see; God so tangibly using prayer to open my eyes and heart to this thing and change my heart to reflect and understand more of His. I seriously think that I need to spend extended, deep, intentional time in prayer multiple times a week- and see how God changes first my heart, and then my life.


We had a 5-hour date night last Thursday. I was feeling sort of out of it, and wasn’t able to focus on a single thought or passage. After spending an hour frustrated, I started watching a sermon by Francis Chan on prayer that is dear to my heart. The way he speaks about his relationship with his Abba, his daddy, is so incredibly moving because it’s so genuine, sincere, sweet, and deep. I didn’t even finish it but was like oh Lord, that is what I want to experience with You. I feel like I’ve focused so much on the intellectual part of God lately, and was missing the relational side.

So I decided to go on a prayer/worship walk. I put my ear buds in, and started playing all my favorite worship songs that reach my heart in just the right way (you know how it is haha). It was a rainy/cloudy day and the beach was empty, so I decided to walk in the waves. I stopped under the pier and started just singing and dancing and worshipping! It was such a beautiful moment, and I stopped caring about who walked by or pointed me out to their friends haha.
I was just enjoying God’s glory and His majesty and THEN:


there was a DOLPHIN just out a ways from the pier!!

In that moment I almost started crying ahah because God KNEW there was a dolphin there- and He knew I was going to see it, and He knows how much I adore dolphins (because He made me that way) and how much joy it would bring me!! He demonstrated His pure and unconditional and unfathomable love for me in that moment by bringing this dolphin into my sight just as I was searching for it.

The view from under the pier.

I feel like recently I haven’t been learning a lot of GROUND-BREAKING, LIFE-SHATTERING, MIND-BLOWING, EARTH-QUAKING things that will shape my life till kingdom come, but I have been experiencing such sweet mini revelations, that I pray will grow and continue to re-shape my relationship with Christ. 

**Also have been dwelling on the following definition and description of living the Spirit-filled life: letting Jesus relive His life again through you.

- What would that look like? How would that change my everyday life? How can I pray to the Spirit to move through me and pour God’s supernatural and divine love and power through my life?

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