Well, you could say I've been waiting to go to Ocean City, NJ with Cru on summer missions for about 104 weeks now, ever since my brother went. So now that it's just a week away? It's pretty surreal to me haha.
So of course, I'm beyond excited.
But, also nervous. Mostly because of my illness. Fighting my mom through the whole "I want to go to Ocean City for the whole summer" thing was really hard. There were many prayers over whether this would be a step of faith or an harmful, unwise, or selfish decision. Yet, being led to the mission and now just one week away, I'm going in complete faith that somehow God will provide me with the physical strength to get through this summer. Yet, if I think about it more than one day at a time, it scares me.
(Still, it reminds me of 1 Samuel 30:6, "Moreover David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all the people were embittered, each one because of his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God."
Anna was greatly distressed because the months prior to Ocean City, she was bed-bound for more than 15 hours a day. How could she work a job and then do ministry and then socialize and then spend daily time with God and then get little sleep- for 10 weeks straight? She didn't know, but she remembered the God of the universe, and she prayed He would have mercy and strengthen her heart and body.
My story's got nothing on David's, so I should be confident that God will provide strength in my weakness. (But, you know how hearts are.. silly things; they like to doubt.)
One may ask about support raising, yes?
Well this was flat out disappointing for me - in the best way possible.
I have heard miracle stories of God providing at the last minute, and in incredible ways. Yet, for me, support raising was simple. I sent out letters and before I knew it, all my support was in- plus a few hundreds extra. I barely had to lift a finger. So I guess I should praise and thank God for his beautiful provision, and I do!! (...but secretly wishing it stretched me at least a little bit. But I suppose that's what the rest of this summer is for.. so I guess I shouldn't speak too soon.)
And Attitudes for this Summer?
I've been praying Ephesians 3:20-21 over my time in Ocean City:
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for ever and ever! Amen."
I'm praying for the hearts of those sent, and for the hearts of those we will interact with- that God would do IMMEASURABLY more than I can even imagine.. and through His power, I pray we will walk in all He has for us this summer.
Beyond that, I don't know what to expect, but am praying that God prepares my heart and walks me in humility so that He can teach me as much as He wants this summer!
And with this, I have 7 days left till embarking on a crazy summer endeavor pursuing and being pursued by a beautifully relentless God.
Am I ready? Probably not.
As my brother said, "you should be terrified for this summer. Excited, but terrified."
Go ahead God, wreck my life.
(before I realized what I just asked for and try to take it back).